The Hardest Button To Button

It seems like everyone I’ve talked to lately is undergoing some kind of internal struggle. Am I good enough, fast enough? Why am I working so hard and getting nowhere? What’s the point? Should I give up, give in, buy some sweatpants, some cake and a new sofa? You know the kind of thing. 

I can Amen to pretty much all of that. I’ve said most of it at some point and in a Schadenfreude kind of way it’s heartening to know that everyone has off days, just like me. You see, I’m doing this for more than just my weight. I live with depression. I have for over a decade and physical fitness is apparently excellent therapy. Having tried it myself I can attest to it now. The older I get the more ways I learn to live around it, the more tricks I learn to head off the crashes and now they are very few and far between. 

So, like most people, this time of year is hard. Extra hard for me this year, I came to cycling in August and when trying to lose weight found an activity that I loved, that put the shine in the day and the spring in my step. The weight loss became secondary to being a better cyclist. And then came the snow. No cycling for me. This coincided with an almighty brain crash. I saw no warning signs, I had no energy and I truly could not move to exercise. I’ve gained about five pounds.

 Anyway, after a trip to my doctors where I agreed to try medication, something I haven’t done in years, something I’ve actively and vehemently resisted, I started taking the tablets a little over a week ago and at first the side effects were awful but they are easing and I can get off the sofa.

 A few days ago I started asking my friends to harangue me until I got off my bum and onto the turbo trainer each day. The first session was hard, I was saddened at how much ability and fitness I felt I’d lost. I managed twenty difficult minutes. The next saw a small improvement and today? Today was fun. (No Lie!) It may never be my favourite activity but I could feel myself working, sweating and improving. I also feel better emotionally. That may be the tablets, or it may be the exercise but I think it’s both together.

 The moral of my tale is this: Don’t be afraid to ask your friends for help. When you feel like giving up, stop and realise that things get hard and you get through them, you always have before. Find a hobby that makes your eyes sparkle. Then write a blog post admitting to everyone that you’re mental.  😉



Explore posts in the same categories: Friends, General randomness, The Bike, Uncategorized

One Comment on “The Hardest Button To Button”

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