Do I Have To?

I don’t even feel like talking about yesterdays ride. I woke up. That’s pretty much it. Not really, I remember sitting with tears in my eyes thinking of a 60 mile day, its the getting into Ponteland that I find tedious and it seemed like an insurmountable obstacle. I spent every single mile of the ride in forcing myself not to turn back. I couldn’t pedal, couldn’t even hold a line. I was all over the road, it was horrible. Feeling like that in the glorious sunshine with the wonderful scenery amongst some wonderful people. Super Al and Andy met me at Stannington Station and escorted me in. I don’t know if I would have made it to Ponteland or not otherwise.

The ride, led by Champion Dan, went up to Meldon Park which is pretty close to Morpeth. I was crawling, just no words can describe that feeling when your body just doesn’t work. It’s like the mirror image of that feeling you get when you’re flying along but worse. Don’t turn back, it will be ok, you will feel better eventually. I kept thinking “why not just go straight home from here?” but I’m a glutton for punishment and I keep telling myself that just because something is hard that isn’t a good reason to give up.

There was one shining moment. The nasty hill near Hartburn (?) for the second time in my life I climbed it without stopping.

Leaving the cafe stop I opted for taking the scenic route with the two Glorious Old Rays and And. Coming up Mitford Stead I had a tough decision to make. Do I go back to Ponteland and have the same nasty ride back or do I cut my losses and go straight home? I turned left to Morpeth. Home it was, surprisingly Glorious Old Ray Luckett who lives a few towns over from me escorted me all the way back to Choppington. I hope when I reach his age (43 :p ) I’m as fit as him.

So there you go, home I was and feeling slightly like I’d cheated somehow, (this would be the second time that I hadn’t made it back to Ponteland. The first time was when I had only stopped vomiting and other less pleasant stuff on the Friday morning.) which is daft as 50 miles on a red hot morning is nothing to be ashamed of. I did have the lure of the JCs large paddling pool, the company of my niece and a bottle of pear cider which probably swung things a little.

This month I’ve cycled 450 miles so far. That’s about normal but it feels like I can barely push the pedals. I think another black week has crept up on me and I didn’t even see it coming. I hope it passes quickly. In the meantime I may just take it easy this week (haha, I’ve already agreed to go for a bike ride with the kids and my sister this afternoon, I’m an idiot sometimes)

Explore posts in the same categories: Rides, The Bike, Tyneside Vagabonds

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9 Comments on “Do I Have To?”

  1. Jobysp Says:

    I hate black days and weeks – nothing worse for a cyclist (of which you quite clearly are).

    Chin up…

    Nearly June and time for the challenge

  2. Super Al Says:

    Good decision to go directly home. Nothing to be gained from doing the extra miles in fact the opposite is true

    • notthewowy Says:

      It was just the right thing to do. I’m formulating a new plan for the next week. It does include having my blood sugars checked too Al. Thanks.

  3. Roger Says:

    450 miles a month!! That’s more than me. Hope you aren’t burning yourself out – maybe a lighter week or two would be good for you?

    • notthewowy Says:

      Already on it. That’s the new plan. šŸ™‚ Thats the price I pay for both not having a car and wanting to ride with you wonderful people. On a saturday it’s a 32 mile round trip at a minimum just from home to Annas. Add that to the Saturday ride and thats close to 300 a month. Actually the month isn’t over and its usually closer to 600 a month so this week I’m planning on only taking short rides.

  4. That’s horrible, it’s slightly different for me as I mostly commute, so when I feel like that I have to crack on as I won’t get to work or get home. I call it low bio-rythymns.

    I haven’t yet had it on a leisure ride, I can’t imagine how awful it must be!

    I think you did the right thing. Don’t beat yourself up over it though.

    • notthewowy Says:

      It’s mostly mental. I don’t particularly enjoy banging on about it but depression is an illness, I sometimes have very little control over it. It was mostly mental. I’m ok now, I have a new challenge this week, no rides over 20 miles long. šŸ™‚

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