I could cry

I was at the hospital yesterday for a growth scan. She’s fine. I’m not so much. I’m definitely diabetic. I have already cried, I still am off and on. I also got a pretty well deserved telling off. I’ve had this overwhelming urge to eat crap. And I have been. It’s hard to admit to falling but I did and I think it’s right that I admit to it. I wish I didn’t have to and I wish I hadn’t done it but wishing gets you nowhere does it?

So yesterday was pin cushion Carrie day, 4 different needles, one in each elbow, one in my left arm and one in my butt. yay me. I used to have an horrific fear of needles, truly and I’m still not a huge fan like. So yes, yesterday was a horrible day. Especially since there’s a strong possibility that I may need insulin treatment this time round. God the thought makes me cry. I was awake at half three this morning and I’m still awake. Imagine my joy when my sensible breakfast produced a high reading.

Using insulin apparently means a 38 week section which in itself doesn’t bother me. having the Junior Cyclist by section was a wonderful experience but it means I may be off my bike for a long time. Spending any longer on the sofa than I have to does not appeal.

Thanks for listening, I’m ok, we’re ok and I can cope but today I feel down and I know telling you helps.

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13 Comments on “I could cry”

  1. The urge to eat crap might be partly to the diabetes itself, you know. Your body gets confused and it’s own inability to metabolise sugars properly make it think it needs more sugary/starchy foods. Before I was diagnosed diabetic, I was chucking crap into myself like it was going out of fashion. Which, for me, it was.

    Get yourself on the straight & narrow again with some tough self-talk and action, and the cravings will ease off. I promise.

  2. Super Al Says:

    Chin up, don’t let it get you down

  3. Wowy Says:

    It wont keep me down for long. Thanks guys. I hope it calms down. The sensible lunch also produced a high reading though. I’ll keep you posted but any information or advice either of you have is very much appreciated.

  4. sasha berry Says:

    I had undiagnosed gestational diabetes and now have it full blown, I would much rather have had it diagnosed and treated at the time and had prior knowledge that I could be prone to it later in life to deal with it sooner. Dealing with cravings is a pain and I still get them, I try to cope by giving in to them but in moderation, buying a chocolate bar eating one or two knobs and throwing the rest away, as if I keep the bugger it will all disappear bit of a waste but hey ho. The needles you’ll get used to in time but the other, we all react differently so I hope you get on ok first time, good luck from John’s wifey.

    • Wowy Says:

      Cheers, this is my second time round so there was no chance of it being missed anyway. Still, it’s done now, I’ll manage.

      How do you find your management? Is there anything you wish you’d known from the start?

      Nice to meet you Mrs John. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • sasha berry Says:

        I don’t manage my diabetes very well but there are extraneous circumstances. I shall be on the third lot of drugs since the beginning of last year to try and bring down my HBA1c which has been averaging an annoying 10 before they consider sticking me on insulin. And there isn’t anything I wished I’d known from the start in fact I have a surfeit of facts I would rather forget, management of diabetes if you follow instructions very well should keep you going fairly healthy for many years unless anything else fails and gestational diabetes is a warning of things to come not that it will happen.

        • Wowy Says:

          thanks for that hen. It’s much appreciated. I have to admit that the staff at the diabetic clinic are lovely but they do seem fixated on weight. Sitting in the clinic on Wednesday surrounded by the majority of rather large ladies I did start to feel like it was my fault somehow, that I was fat but I’m not really and that’s a load of blox. I was fatter last time and my blood sugars were lower. Oh well, I can live with it, at leased I’m well versed in nutrition I just have to figure out what works and what doesn’t.

  5. Bob Melrose Says:

    Hey you, “she’s fine” did someone say? So will you be.

    See you Sat?

  6. I like what Sasha says, she’s right. Read all the facts, then forget the ones which don’t help you manage it day-to-day. If you manage it well day-to-day, most of the other facts aren’t needed.

    Don’t try to extend teh period you can go without insulin, in my opinion. It’s playing chicken – you don’t win, you just put yourself in more danger the longer you leave it. My mate’s Type 2 and I keep telling him to stop fannying about and just go on insulin: it brings your sugars down and lets you digest food properly, so why fanny about for months (and years in some people’s cases) putting up with feeling crap, eating budgie food and having your blood sugars too high.

    There endeth today’s sermon, which was not endorsed by the BMA.

    • Wowy Says:

      Thanks for the advice but I do want to put it off if it means she can stay in a little longer. Then again if it’s impossible to control otherwise it isn’t the end of the world eh?

      • I know full term’s a good thing, but full term uncontrolled isn’t, is it? If your sugars are high a lot, then keeping them low will be better for junior.

        • Wowy Says:

          Haha, I think we both have the same point but I just can’t write sensibly today. I’d rather work my butt off trying to keep em down before taking the insulin, that’s all. It wont kill me to take the insulin I just don’t want it as the first option. I have to speak to the midwife monday, today was better, breakfast was just over but lunch and dinner were fine. ๐Ÿ˜€

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